the fake chastity ...

"wanted to touch the flame in the middle of the night - velvet and glitz and glamour...It was a shadow indeed ... i saw the raindrops rolling down the night, touching and smoldering the velvet arch - by some god-forsaken reason i knew; i knew the blood clotted scratch mark"

               But somehow, i forgot what i left behind - a shadow too deep - reaching every corners of the red splattered depth, or simply my own image smiling at me from another world...??

I remember knowing that i was destined to shiver in my spines - maybe i did; a little... 

Every touch -- the dirty love, the germs, the sanitized cloth,  every breathless moment of  standing in the middle of the civilized persecution - o yes !! i lived it all.. I have lived through the ages of unspoken hatred,  the fire in the gut and the wine in the hands -- ooh..!!! how loud it was..and i lived it all.

They raped every night - the beauty, the unreal sanctity, the bitter truth, the virgin robes - just a scratch and the threads crumbled down. How beautiful they looked !!. Lying naked on the floor - so close I could touch them now, not so inflammable anymore, not so pure, not so fake - they earthed every spiritual abuse for how they lived - real for once.

The blood stains, oozing out of the womb - i smelled it so close i nearly touched the mother. The mornings seemed normal again, the fights seemed original. 

Yet you came to me that night...and the flares of sunshine burned the soul... i knew the venom was your addiction.. but how could I have stopped.. you gave me your poison and I fell in love...The poison was the elixir for that one very day - the day when the skirts swayed and the music boomed and the shadow kissed the lolita...

You silenced the moments when the whole world went blind...the awkward smiles, the much enjoyed juvenile.. You knew what you needed - just the chalice - you called it "Shangri-La" .. a tiny hut to live your sin, a glass of wine to drink your guilt and a bread to kill your murderous gut... But you forgot the girl you "reaped" ... she kept your monster alive - she made love to the monster every night under your bed and you never knew - you never saw. i laugh at the silence of your stinking pure earth , I mock at you because you never hear the lava spew ... 

My night stands here with vengeance in its vain ...... i slay the heart with my mortal blade......wine and blood are brothers here every night - the more i run, i feel the pain.

I despise you - that's all i have. But now , that is all that you will have too......  - "Vengeance is green this time... and yet they say whatever is divine is soul-sublime"

Tor Ajker Diin Gulo

Tor ghete jaoya shopno...
Shohor chere duure chole jabar protisruti...


Shob bhenge diye moja dakhar ichya --
Mithye hoye galo shob..
Bhalobaste suru kore dili tui...


Aguun jaliye dili bostir shob ghor e...
School gulo te giye chalali lathi...
Rastar dhaar e, ulongo kore rekhe dili nijer meye ke...
Eshob tor beche thakar bhonita..
Ullash er natok..


Ami tobu shokti-sheel churechilaam onek kaal age...
Sei onko aaj, natoker bhaar e jor-jorito...
Tobu beche achis tui,
Benimadhob r Bonolota Sen er shopno niye...


Jiboner rong-gulo dhaar kore anli amar pagla dashuur theke...
Ghum kere nili amar...
Rokto jol kore paliye geli bhorer akashe...


Aar khujbo na toke...
Ghuuri kete gache tor..
Rail line er dhaare kaanta taar e lege thakbi tui...
Beche oth - amader shopnogulo chiire...

Somewhere in time...

somewhere in time -
there was a promise u held close..
there was rain and there was snow..
somewhere in time...u asked me to sit;
beneath the chandelier and and to the setting sun we kissed..
somewhere in time ..
u asked me to close my eyes and to take the leap of faith...
somewhere in time – u asked me to live and u walked me to death.

Somewhere in that time,
You looked at me like a stranger -
you sang a song, you smiled...
Somewhere in that time, the glass was full and it was easy to die.
It still made sence when everything fell apart,
it still was easy when it hooked through the heart...
Somewhere in that time - you used to write your name...
Somewhere in that time - it could never be so late

Somewhere in that time,
to live the love, was just enough...
Somewhere in that time,
to live the lie, was just enough.
somewhere in time ..
u asked me to close my eyes and to take the leap of faith...
somewhere in time – u asked me to live and u walked me to death.

the sin and the world..

Imagine there's no heaven..just d clear blue sky..
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?
Imagine there was no hell beneath us, just d earth running dry...
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?
Would you ask me to stay, if you knew there was no one watching..?
And would you still laugh with me, if no one was listening..?
Would you take my hand and walk with me and show me the sunset..?
would you still kiss me to sleep, if you knew there was no one calling..??

I promise it is not that hard to imagine..
A world that would just belong to us...
A world with no boundaries and no one preaching to curse...
No one teaching religion, no one avenging a death...
No one beating up a child..no one going to bed hungry
Imagine there's no heaven..just d clear blue sky..
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?

 

I mocked your dreams....

And then by some unsaid words - you said it all...
the love, the lust and the song
It rained and pulled down all the heavenly glory -
At the dead of the night, put them at your feet.
I raided your dreams, i saw you cry
your pains were dreadful but so was mine...
I laughed at them and mocked your sin
I raised my glass and the blood I sipped in...

You were foolish and so was I,
You needed death and I need to die...
Together we killed the beauty and the beast...
Standing tall - it rained again
It rained again, and it all fell to your feet

“Auguries of Innocence” by William Blake

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell through all its regions.
A dog starved at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipped and armed for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer wandering here and there
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misused breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be beloved by men.
He who the ox to wrath has moved
Shall never be by woman loved.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of Envy's foot.
The poison of the honey-bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands,
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright
And returned to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes Revenge! in realms of death.
The beggar's rags fluttering in air
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier armed with sword and gun
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the labourer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands,
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mocked in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plough
To peaceful arts shall Envy bow.
A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding sheet.
The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.

when the "yet" and the "still" means the same thing....

... and she looked – piercing through the hundred of unknown faces, everybody staring at one single direction – the direction of the sun.

                It wasn’t very long back that the mother happily died after seeing the two beautiful eyes of the baby she just gave birth to - happy and content that the baby would grow up well. Strangely enough it was the time of war..... still the beauty in the eyes never faded – the sun came up every morning and mother died a “happy death”.

                Today standing with a crowd of refugee the baby saw the same beauty – “beauty of the rising sun and beauty of sleeping on a rug and seeing a dream of a loaf of bread.”

                Seeing purity to the core has always been the most difficult – the facade, the grandeur easily comes handy and most likely it stays. Probably it will be right to remember that the futility of war is best known by the ones claiming the winning robe and experience disturbed nights.

                The refugee camps were the best place to be – at least the girls thought so. She got her food (hardly) , but her blanket .. the salty (yet), the drinking water and most of all the feeling of belonging – belonging to a crowd – a group of like(minded or not) people. Strange, but it wasn’t so much different from the lands of the (so-named) “powerful country lands” – babies here cried with as much sweetness (more hunger maybe) and played the same football (or soccer) and fought over the same foul play.

                Still something was strange – a phone kept ringing all the time ..... even in the darkest of the nights or the busiest afternoon – nobody picked up the call....

                “... and (still) she looked – piercing through the hundred of unknown faces, everybody staring at one single direction – the direction of the sun.” ....and (still) she looked - ...