Friday, March 26, 2021

Letter - 26/03

চিঠি লেখার অভ্যাস তোমার ছোটবেলা থেকেই। তুমি যেখানে থাকতে, সেখানে চিঠি লেখাটা, luxury ছিল না। 
ছোটবেলায় চিঠিতে কি লিখতে তুমি? কি জিজ্ঞেসা করতে? কটা রঙের কালি দিয়ে লিখতে? নীল-কালো - সবুজ - লাল - বেগনি ... কোনটা? 
তোমার আঙুলগুলো বড্ড সরু সরু। সুন্দর নখ। 

আমি যদি BJPর লোক হতাম, তাহলে বলতাম - "মেয়েলি দেখতে তোমার আঙুলগুলো"। 
কিন্তু, আমি জানি, তোমার আঙুলগুলো শুধুই "সুন্দর" ... তুমি তো নিজেই বল, তোমার কোন gender নেই। 

কিকরে বল এসব? কি ভেবে? যখন বল, তখন তোমার মুখে, অদ্ভুত এক শান্তি। 

তুমি যেন, এক বাটি জুঁই ফুলের মত। 

আমার বাড়িতে আর এসো না কখনও। এ চিঠি, সেই আবেদন - 

আমায় ঘর খালি করতে হবে। বাড়িওয়ালা বলে দিয়েছে - হৃদয়পূরের মরশুম এতো খারাপ হলে, ঘর দেওয়া যাবে না। ঘরে ঝড় জল ঢুকলে,  তাতে নাকি দেওয়াল নষ্ট হচ্ছে। 

আসলে, বাড়িওয়ালা কে দোষও দেওয়া যায় না। আজ সকালে ঘুম থেকে উঠে দেখলাম, ঘরের যে কোনাটায় তুমি বসতে, সেখানে রক্তের দাগ। আমি দৌড়ে এসে, সে দাগ ধুতে গিয়ে দেখি - এ রক্ত মিশে গেছে ইট আর সিমেন্টের সাথে। এ দাগ আমি তুলতে পারব না।

কয়েকদিন আগে, বারান্দার যে গ্রিলটা দেখে তুমি বলেছিলে - "উফ! একটু পরিষ্কার করে রাখিস না কেন?"। সেই গ্রিলটায় দেখলাম, মরচে পড়েছে। 

পুরনো হয়ে গেলে, মরচে পড়ে, তাই না? 

আমার বাড়িওয়ালা সব বোঝে। 

তুমি তো কোনদিনও আলোর একেবারে সামনে বসতে না - একটু দূরে বসতে। তোমাকে আলো ছায়ার মধ্যে দেখতে পাওয়া যেত। এক দিকে ঝুঁকে - আঙ্গুলের ডগা দিয়ে ধরে, সিগারেট জ্বালাতে তুমি। এমন ভাবে চুপ করে শুনতে আমার কথা, যেন আমার মধ্যে দিয়েই, বেঁচে নিচ্ছ তুমি আবার।

তুমি চলে যাওয়ার পর, বিছানার চাদরের ভাঁজে ভাঁজে খুঁজে পেতাম তোমায়। 

বাড়িওয়ালা বলেছে, বাড়ি খালি করে দিতে হবে আমায়।

চিঠি লেখা, আমি দায় পড়ে শিখেছি। আমার চিঠিতে তাই, ঠিকানা থাকে না। তোমার নাম লেখা থাকে শুধু। 

এ বাড়ি খালি করে দেব আমি। তুমি কোনভাবে, ঋণ শোধ কর সন্ধেগুলোর। 

ইতি,
পুরনো বাড়ি থেকে, 
আমি ... 

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

খবর দিয়ো

 কান্না পেলে, 
খবর দিয়ো।

তোমার চলতে থাকা দিনগুলো
থমকে দাঁড়ালে,
খবর দিয়ো।

জানিয়ো কোথায় গেলে,
একেবারেই কি দেশান্তর হবে?
নাকি সেদিন, ঘরে ফেরার সাধ হবে তোমার?

কান্না পেলে,
খবর দিয়ো।

এসবে অবশ্য পাল্টায়না কিছুই।
প্রেমিকার চিঠি,
মোবাইলের বতামের চাপে
বড় বড় নিঃশ্বাস নেয়।

অতগুলো শব্দের মধ্যে,
খুঁজে পাওয়া কয়েকমাসের বৃষ্টি

সেই বৃষ্টিটাই আমাদের ছিল।
সবাই যে বছর, ঘরের ভেতর বন্দি
সবাই যে বছর, ছাদে গিয়ে বৃষ্টিতে ভিজল...

তুমি আর আমি তখন,
মাথার উপর ছাদ খুঁজছি।
পকেটে রয়েছে,
বোতামে আটকানো
কিছু গানের লাইন।

সে বছরের বৃষ্টিগুলো, 
শুধু তোমার জন্যই রাখা থাকল। 

কান্না পেলে,
খবর দিয়ো।  

Monday, September 16, 2013

the low life..

if i wanted to write...i wud write about ur silhouette amidst the sundry ..i would pen down how everyday you live like a ghost in your own world.. how u walk n never leave a foot print.. how you have forgotten to sing..if I wanted to write..i would write about how many times you were raped.. how many times you bled and how often you sin..
But I am not here to write about you, i am here to feel the flame on my fingers. I am here to describe your peels of laughter, your glittering vogue and your favorite Dior.. I am here to remind everything mortal about you – the grace and the glory, the power and the dictatorship ….

If I were to talk to you, I would ask you to leave – pack up your bags, close your eyes and leave.. Leave before anyone can stop you, leave before I can remind you of your chores .. I would ask you to sing – shut your door and hum…shout out your anger and not stop until your tongue bleeds… sing before they can silence your soul, sing before the whole world turn deaf…
But I am not here to talk to you..i am here to  ask you questions, mostly the unanswered ones.. I am here to ask you about the day you were born…I am here to ask you about the day you made love…

If I were here to hold you, I would pin you to the bed and melt you down..all your glitz and glamour and your virginity – I would take them all down and make them look like bundles of thread…I would take you out in the rains and admire your tears, I would choke you and not let you speak…
But I am here to hug you instead. I am here to correct your speech and lecture on the correct use of grammar and punctuations and maybe gift you an Emily Bronte .. I am here to dress you up, I am here to walk by you in the parade …

Of all the things you once told me…the stories of the fall were always my favorite… The ones you ended with the flowing skirts and the white socks - the ones where you had a green briefcase , I could nearly see the smile in your eyes…

I want to write a story, about a little girl..who could live and die at her own will and had somewhere to run… a story where she somehow managed a train ticket and reached a far away land. I want to write a story, the one which would end with both of us waving each other goodbye…

Thursday, September 5, 2013

permit card

She wanted to get away..to a world of sunsets and sunrises...
The telephone sang at a deafening high pitch...

My world boasts of a glorious burning sun and soulful starts...
I gave her the lower note...

She flies now...into an indigo Neverland..
Guess the sun was never as fiery as I thought.. all I needed to do, was take my glasses off.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Brishti...jah..!!

Mone holo tui kadli..
Mon khule kede nili ki..?
Shob raag-hingshe-obhimaan-natok ...
Gaan pagol hoye kadli ki tobu..??

sei hariye jaowa putuler gaan.. dupur belar achar churi ..??
je gaan gulo bhoye bhoye gaitish bathroom er janalaye-e
chondo-poton ghotlo ki tor..??

Barud hoye jole uthlo chokher jol..?
Halka sunte pelam bujhi...!!!
eki.!! hariye galo je abar..
dhore rakhte parli na..?? ekii..!!!

du-haat bariye dhorte gelam toke...hoye galo shobdo-kolpo-druum...

nishchinho hoye galo ghame bheja shorir... tor kannae aj chora balir bhoye..
hariye ja tui...uure ja jhor-er sathe...
fire ele notun thikana khuje debo toke...
praan khola kannar... chokh jorano hashir...

Khete na peye morte gechilo naki..
Brishti r jol e gola bhejali aaj...
Cholna doure beriye ashi...
Domka meghe dhaka .. oniruddha akash...

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Shondhye jokhun shokal-rong e aanka...

sondhye jokhun obujh preme pagol...
sokal tokhun tuuk-tuuke laal saree...

sondhye jokhun badhon chara nouko..
shokal tokhun shanto dupuur ghum...

shondhye jokhun tuumul gaan er ashor..
shokal tokhun ranna ghor er dhoya...
shondhye jokhun kham kheyali jhogra..
shokal tokhun thakuma r jhuli r golpo..

tobe shondhye akhun rattir kalo megh...
shokal tai shanto jol der dhara...

Monday, March 4, 2013

jol er tolae kaadle..jol nilche hoye jaye


pathorer kotha to keu bole na..
boye jaoya nodir gobhir akta konaye..
pore thaake bochorer por bochor -
akta sobder opekhaye - jege thake oklanto raat

kimba onek duur theke bhese asha , akta kono sukno pata..
... pathor tar kotha ta keu bole na-

raat er aandhare jokhun chooto
akta sopno bhese ashe ...
seta chuuye, dekhte iche kore
haat er nagale paye na kichutei
jol ta gobhir boddo
hariye jete chaye..
othocho ....
akta sobdo sunte hobe je
atodin er opekhya... mithye hoye
jabe ki..??
akta sobdo sunte hobe je

etai to amar moner shothik dik -
baki ra to shob bibhranter dol
ba ebhabe boli-
bishakto jol to shwasther pokkhe tyamon ekta bhalo na...
sei raatpaharer pukurer pare bose thaka kishori -
je frock e mukh gunje kande
chul elo melo, paa ta nongra.....tar hathe sei pathor

hothat tup kore hath theke paliye soja joltar onnek tolaye -- --

kichutei dakha jaye na
kadte thaka meye ta- hotat kiser anonde heshe uthlo ??
jano khub mojar khela..
pathor tao hashlo bodhoye ektu
onek duur theke dekhlo meyetake-
chokh muche uthe galo se
pathor tar santi...
acha..
jol er tolaye kadle keu bujhte parbe ki..???..
joler tolaye kandle naki joler rong nil hoe jaye
kimba hoyto megh hoye abar bristi hoe jaye
...ke jane..

jana chilo je ei niil rong-ta boddo kacher....
kokhuno na chute para akta khuub kacher nil rong
roj raat er sopne asha...akta ghum bhangano nil rong..

acha..
jol er tolaye kadle keu bujhte
parbe ki..???..

prem chapiye jibon hoye jaye…

Hariye jaowa duto gaan, aar akla dupurer rod...
Thomke jaowa shondhyer traffic - kimba loadshedding er raat er Rabindrasangeet...
somosto aakashta juure toke lekha kobita...
aaj raat er brishti ta, akanto tor jonno...

Amar beche thakar alo…
Gobhir hoye jaowa tumul bhalobasha…

Ei shohorer raat er akash jamon – shanto, kintu onek shobde bhora,
Tor sathe duto diin dariye thakte cheyechilam…
Shokto haat er kothin ador..shanto sokal er tuumul kalo jhor..
Pukurer paar er ghash – naam na jana onek purono bondhu..
Cheyechilam duhaat khola akash – megher sathe hariye jabar gaan

Shobdo gulo shonge cholte thake
Chayaa eriye chole jaye…
Tor moto mithye kothar taal e… prem chapiye jibon hoye jaye…

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

the fake chastity ...



"wanted to touch the flame in the middle of the night - velvet and glitz and glamour...It was a shadow indeed ... i saw the raindrops rolling down the night, touching and smoldering the velvet arch - by some god-forsaken reason i knew; i knew the blood clotted scratch mark"
               But somehow, i forgot what i left behind - a shadow too deep - reaching every corners of the red splattered depth, or simply my own image smiling at me from another world...??

I remember knowing that i was destined to shiver in my spines - maybe i did; a little... 

Every touch -- the dirty love, the germs, the sanitized cloth,  every breathless moment of  standing in the middle of the civilized persecution - o yes !! i lived it all.. I have lived through the ages of unspoken hatred,  the fire in the gut and the wine in the hands -- ooh..!!! how loud it was..and i lived it all.

They raped every night - the beauty, the unreal sanctity, the bitter truth, the virgin robes - just a scratch and the threads crumbled down. How beautiful they looked !!. Lying naked on the floor - so close I could touch them now, not so inflammable anymore, not so pure, not so fake - they earthed every spiritual abuse for how they lived - real for once.

The blood stains, oozing out of the womb - i smelled it so close i nearly touched the mother. The mornings seemed normal again, the fights seemed original. 

Yet you came to me that night...and the flares of sunshine burned the soul... i knew the venom was your addiction.. but how could I have stopped.. you gave me your poison and I fell in love...The poison was the elixir for that one very day - the day when the skirts swayed and the music boomed and the shadow kissed the lolita...

You silenced the moments when the whole world went blind...the awkward smiles, the much enjoyed juvenile.. You knew what you needed - just the chalice - you called it "Shangri-La" .. a tiny hut to live your sin, a glass of wine to drink your guilt and a bread to kill your murderous gut... But you forgot the girl you "reaped" ... she kept your monster alive - she made love to the monster every night under your bed and you never knew - you never saw. i laugh at the silence of your stinking pure earth , I mock at you because you never hear the lava spew ... 

My night stands here with vengeance in its vain ...... i slay the heart with my mortal blade......wine and blood are brothers here every night - the more i run, i feel the pain.


I despise you - that's all i have. But now , that is all that you will have too......  - "Vengeance is green this time... and yet they say whatever is divine is soul-sublime"

Friday, February 8, 2013

Tor Ajker Diin Gulo

Tor ghete jaoya shopno...
Shohor chere duure chole jabar protisruti...


Shob bhenge diye moja dakhar ichya --
Mithye hoye galo shob..
Bhalobaste suru kore dili tui...


Aguun jaliye dili bostir shob ghor e...
School gulo te giye chalali lathi...
Rastar dhaar e, ulongo kore rekhe dili nijer meye ke...
Eshob tor beche thakar bhonita..
Ullash er natok..


Ami tobu shokti-sheel churechilaam onek kaal age...
Sei onko aaj, natoker bhaar e jor-jorito...
Tobu beche achis tui,
Benimadhob r Bonolota Sen er shopno niye...


Jiboner rong-gulo dhaar kore anli amar pagla dashuur theke...
Ghum kere nili amar...
Rokto jol kore paliye geli bhorer akashe...


Aar khujbo na toke...
Ghuuri kete gache tor..
Rail line er dhaare kaanta taar e lege thakbi tui...
Beche oth - amader shopnogulo chiire...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Somewhere in time...

somewhere in time -
there was a promise u held close..
there was rain and there was snow..
somewhere in time...u asked me to sit;
beneath the chandelier and and to the setting sun we kissed..
somewhere in time ..
u asked me to close my eyes and to take the leap of faith...
somewhere in time – u asked me to live and u walked me to death.

Somewhere in that time,
You looked at me like a stranger -
you sang a song, you smiled...
Somewhere in that time, the glass was full and it was easy to die.
It still made sence when everything fell apart,
it still was easy when it hooked through the heart...
Somewhere in that time - you used to write your name...
Somewhere in that time - it could never be so late

Somewhere in that time,
to live the love, was just enough...
Somewhere in that time,
to live the lie, was just enough.
somewhere in time ..
u asked me to close my eyes and to take the leap of faith...
somewhere in time – u asked me to live and u walked me to death.

Monday, March 12, 2012

the sin and the world..

Imagine there's no heaven..just d clear blue sky..
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?
Imagine there was no hell beneath us, just d earth running dry...
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?
Would you ask me to stay, if you knew there was no one watching..?
And would you still laugh with me, if no one was listening..?
Would you take my hand and walk with me and show me the sunset..?
would you still kiss me to sleep, if you knew there was no one calling..??

I promise it is not that hard to imagine..
A world that would just belong to us...
A world with no boundaries and no one preaching to curse...
No one teaching religion, no one avenging a death...
No one beating up a child..no one going to bed hungry
Imagine there's no heaven..just d clear blue sky..
would you still call it a sin..or would you love me tonight..?

 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I mocked your dreams....

And then by some unsaid words - you said it all...
the love, the lust and the song
It rained and pulled down all the heavenly glory -
At the dead of the night, put them at your feet.
I raided your dreams, i saw you cry
your pains were dreadful but so was mine...
I laughed at them and mocked your sin
I raised my glass and the blood I sipped in...

You were foolish and so was I,
You needed death and I need to die...
Together we killed the beauty and the beast...
Standing tall - it rained again
It rained again, and it all fell to your feet

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

“Auguries of Innocence” by William Blake

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell through all its regions.
A dog starved at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipped and armed for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer wandering here and there
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misused breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be beloved by men.
He who the ox to wrath has moved
Shall never be by woman loved.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of Envy's foot.
The poison of the honey-bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands,
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright
And returned to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes Revenge! in realms of death.
The beggar's rags fluttering in air
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier armed with sword and gun
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the labourer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands,
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mocked in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plough
To peaceful arts shall Envy bow.
A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding sheet.
The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.

Friday, April 8, 2011

when the "yet" and the "still" means the same thing....

... and she looked – piercing through the hundred of unknown faces, everybody staring at one single direction – the direction of the sun.
                It wasn’t very long back that the mother happily died after seeing the two beautiful eyes of the baby she just gave birth to - happy and content that the baby would grow up well. Strangely enough it was the time of war..... still the beauty in the eyes never faded – the sun came up every morning and mother died a “happy death”.
                Today standing with a crowd of refugee the baby saw the same beauty – “beauty of the rising sun and beauty of sleeping on a rug and seeing a dream of a loaf of bread.”
                Seeing purity to the core has always been the most difficult – the facade, the grandeur easily comes handy and most likely it stays. Probably it will be right to remember that the futility of war is best known by the ones claiming the winning robe and experience disturbed nights.
                The refugee camps were the best place to be – at least the girls thought so. She got her food (hardly) , but her blanket .. the salty (yet), the drinking water and most of all the feeling of belonging – belonging to a crowd – a group of like(minded or not) people. Strange, but it wasn’t so much different from the lands of the (so-named) “powerful country lands” – babies here cried with as much sweetness (more hunger maybe) and played the same football (or soccer) and fought over the same foul play.
                Still something was strange – a phone kept ringing all the time ..... even in the darkest of the nights or the busiest afternoon – nobody picked up the call....
                “... and (still) she looked – piercing through the hundred of unknown faces, everybody staring at one single direction – the direction of the sun.” ....and (still) she looked - ...

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Death that smells good....

Smelling your love - Throughout the waves of time...
Reciting a lyre - Towards the end of rhyme...
Searching a face - Within the heart of the dead...
Walking through a lane and not seeing the end...
Bleeding down the dreamy eyes - Pinned to where it dies

To the void I see -
I see a baby cry
I win the world and skip the air...
I tame the light and miss the fire
A slice of dream - a place to kill
The warmth of my home is what I need to feel...

A death without a name and without a smell. Some people ask you not to stand by the corpse; but you
still do - you cannot risk to miss the beauty of the "forever-sleep". Some insane people think you are oh-so
-morbid, you smile at them and ask - "Arn't you jealous?"
You know you survived the epidemic of happiness, survived the everyday smiles and the boring planned success (so to call it) ... - you survived the happy time when expressions smalled down to just smiles, the roars of laughter did not touch you and you survived the needless giigles. You saved your soul, you saved your sorrow and in a tiny part of it - you saved the sin. You killed the child born way ahead of its time - you stood up and you stabbed it..bathed in the blood you cried out the futility of "Red" .....
Today You stand victorious - you stand on the table and stare at the body on your feet. You are Brutus and you are so proud of it.....
The sun would rise whatever happens..but you stand and you wait for the night to come n show you the
path of Sin. you know one day you will give birth to the baby - the Adam and Eve will blink to the
right fruit this time - no tree will ever be forbidden anymore....

Friday, December 3, 2010

“The Magic Carpet and the Passport - Not Knowing...”

The corner of my roof top was an ideal place for all the dreams..the open sky-the surrounding tall trees-the distant flying kites-the turmeric tainted wet sarees hung in the brand new plastic ropes-the garbage grazing cows beneath and the mosquitoes – the place had it all...

Summers were fun actually..a strange affinity towards the sweat and the heat added extra colours to the dreams..which were strange though – starting from the ambition of becoming a fast bowler for the Indian cricket team to an Army doctor who would have to paraglide the Himalayan Mountains  [and so should start practicing immediately] or the happiness in imagining that the cute looking senior might be right now standing under the same sky and looking at the same cloud ... I gladly let the dreams voyage everywhere.
The burning of the eyes were nice too..you close them and you get to see so many colourful circles..strange shades of pink blue and green. 
Best part – no one else invaded my “Dream-Spot” during the summers..so it was my personal  and it was “mine personal” – difference being very subtle but very huge.

Dreams are a very secured place to be. Not very long ago a line in a movie caught my thoughts – “you do not remember the beginning of your dreams” ...well this is true actually.. I mean when we find ourselves in d top of a sunset-lit sand dune, do we really remember how we reached there..? or the bigger question – do we want to know how we reached there ?
But why is it so.? To think of it..do we remember the beginning of anything atall..? can we pin down the very moment of the first spang of love..? or the first sense of relief after witnessing a successful childbirth..??
To not know something has its own charm though..it actually is that state of enigma where no one can prove you wrong..or it is the morning where the dreams never get shattered...well when i don’t really know the first moment of love then how can I ever go to the moment before it...??
The little child not knowing the tingling fear will never actually stop herself from gazing at the guns in the middle of a sick Afghanistan war...not knowing love rather can actually save you a heart break.
Then maybe a very smart looking “love guru” would tell you that if you have not tried love then your life might have no meaning at all because your heart has missed out such an important feeling – which might be true. But when you again retaliate – if you do not know what love is – then does a love guru or the dialogues matter at all..??

End of the day we are all satisfied and the last glass of water before going to bed always tastes the sweetest – so if we are so satisfied and happy then why do we need to hide in our dreams [or in that way – in someone else’s dreams]..??

It is all the same – all the quest of the magic apple..the quest for the Sorcerer Stone..or the urge to become a Monk with a Ferrari .... and most of all the ultimate desire of reaching the state where you do not know anything and you are just standing on the sand dune and looking towards the blue-maroon-orange sun-set.....

I hate to break this but – when you read this do also remember the magic carpet or if you wish to go further – remember the passport and the visa and the immigration office and all the news flash on Middle East ...... [long live.... everything]

“The paradise still alive….”

Being what you never want to be is a fun in itself… we all want to see a stranger... we want to see someone who does not know his destination.. It gives us a false sense of security... we feel victorious…. but mostly it makes us feel company.. We feel that we are not alone lost in the island of life... we feel we have people whom we can copy if we want... But the fun is...we never accept this...we never accept this to ourselves…or rather…we don’t want to show that we r accepting it….
We love to say that we don’t believe in God... but in moments of solitude..we close our eyes to see d divine n supreme power to whom we can complaint of the innumerable spirits around us…we r like an infant…and ask for a wish…we all want to see our own Peter Pan…but the problem is…..we fail to see the beauty of darkness and we switch on the light…and then we again become the non-religious stud. .and we succeed to take another step backward…..
What we want is seldom what we love…but what we love…we are always afraid to want it…coz we all r afraid of losing it… the strongest one amongst us is the soul who can look at the eyes of his reflection in the mirror….not like most of us who tame our will power not to pierce through the pair of windows in the mirror… who are we hiding from..??? are we hiding from the dictator or we r hiding from the self-dictatorship… a true human is the one who succeeds in dictating himself and still avoids a suicide…. A sight so vast that you can see the end, and still can stop yourself from touching it… A paradise of human curse is what you call your home… You stand truly victorious when you raise your voice to call it your “own”…
We don’t fail when cannot do something…. We fail when we do something and then cannot see the beauty in it…. The past is a sore we all want to scratch, but how often do we feel that the past could be a strong tool for introspection..??? Being inside a womb is the greatest pleasure, but why do we forget it can at times, suffocate us to death… If courage is what we want, but then, why do we love seeing night mares..???
The fact is... we all know death is inevitable, but we love to be afraid of it… We know we will have to die, but we love the hide n seek we play with death…. The more we live; we feel that with every passing day we defeat death yet another time…. We prove a soothsayer wrong every day…. And the morning fear of the ‘ides of March is defeated every night…. And a new Julius Ceaser is born with every rising Sun…